Dangling... Whiskey Shots? Or Airplane Tickets?

I was on the phone with my oldest daughter the other morning, and I found myself expounding upon one of the foundational theories by which I live my life.

"You gotta have targets and goals, baby," I said, feeling wise and well, fatherly. "You figure out the things you want and you map out your steps to achieve what you want. But, you gotta have some inspirations along the way, some dangling carrots to keep you motivated."

I let the gravity of my words sink in, or so I thought, as there were a couple of moments of silence. I was ready to tell my baby about how vacations and getaways act as bookends and deadlines for my goals because I use them to celebrate the completion of novels, new contracts, book releases, etc. I never got to say any of that because the sound of her laughing totally befuddled me. Her hilarity ensued for a couple of minutes and I felt offended, insulted, and foolish.

"What's so funny?" I asked with an indignant tone. "I didn't tell a joke."

"Daddy," she said, her tone suggesting she would start giggling at any moment. "You hate carrots."

She's right, of course. I hate the sight of them, their taste, and the idea of the nasty, orange things. If they're in any meal or dish I'm eating, I root them out and leave them on the side of my plate. They're disgusting, except in carrot cake. Weird, right?

"You should use something else as a motivating factor," she said. "Not carrots."

The lesson remains the same, no matter what visual I hold in front of me. I thought about my hatred of carrots and thought of all the things I love, which include vacations, barbecues, and whiskeys/whiskies of all sorts. The next time I give my speech about the things I use to motivate myself, I think I'll visualize Glenlivet, Woodford Reserve, Knob Creek, Tullamore DEW twelve-year, and Fourteen-year bottles of The Balvenie. Those are the adult libations I enjoy the most, and I think they'll do fine as replacements for carrots.