'Get Out' ain't no comedy
People who know me understand that I don't like scary movies. Nope. Not at all. My reasons?
1. Real life is scary enough.
2. I never got over Freddy Kreuger or the Candyman.
3. Cuz.
4. I don't like scary movies.
Sure, I can write a creepy story, but it won't touch me later or give me nightmares. I'll write a dark story, then I'm back to being myself, humorous and sunny.
A scary movie will cling to me for days, years even. I watched 'The Conjuring' years ago on a dare, and I haven't recovered yet. For real.
So when I watched the trailer for 'Get Out' prior to its release, I was shaking my head like "Nope, too much realism, I'm good." I had friends who couldn't wait to see it, and I wished them well, but I knew it wasn't for the kid.
Yesterday morning, while writing, I saw it was 'On Demand,' and I figured since it was daylight and whatnot, what harm could there be in checking it out? Lol. I should have known better.
It's not a classic horror movie with fantastical shit happening, but a movie with just enough reality to creep me the fuck out! Don't believe me? Dig the reasons.
1. Going to meet the family of your White girlfriend miles away from the city, civilization, and Uber. Um, naw. Uh-uh.
2. Tea. I hate tea, don't drink it, and its prevalence and the malevolent way it was used confirmed for me that tea ain't for me. Not now, not ever.
3. Getting pulled over by the police... while Black... riding with a White girl. Recipe for disaster. For real. Happened to me once while hanging out with my homegirl, who just happened to be White. Dark street, five police cars, and me trying to keep my bravery level up. The reason they said they pulled me over? My license plate light was out. Five cars though? Nah. Watching the scene in the movie was too reminiscent of real life.
4. When the hero tried to give a "pound" to the other Black guy. Resplendent in a seer sucker suit, accompanied by an older White woman, and instead of bumping fists (a pound!), he grasped the hero's fist as if it were a hand. Nope, time to go. Because in any situation where there aren't very many Black folks, we always acknowledge each other's presence with a nod, a hello, or a pound. If not returned, that means it's not a healthy environment.
5. The parents let them sleep in the same bed... and they're not married. Nope, it's time to 'Get Out.' By the way, out in the country there's a chance you might not have cell reception. Nope. Scary as hell.
I am not going to go too much into it, but for awards committees to put it in the 'Comedy' category? Nah, not at all.
Marlon S. Hayes is a writer, poet, blogger, and author, who is having problems sleeping. Wonder why?
