The Myth of Underwear

The title alone should let you know I'm feeling a bit silly. I counted my underwear recently because I was feeling the need to go shopping for new ones. Lo and behold, I have 42 pair. No need for shopping, right? Then again, I had to categorize them according to their wear and tear, a daunting task to be sure.

   Lucky underwear are the ones I save for special occssions. I have a pair with baseballs festooned upon them which are for important Cub games. The only problem is I can't wear them on consecutive days, so I can only do my part about once a week. I have a pair of Snoopy Christmas boxers which I wear during the celebration on Christmas to insure I always have a great day.

   Then there are my good ones, the ones which match my sweater, t-shirts, and my socks. These are the ones which are "Mom Approved," meaning if I ever get into an accident or altercation, they're good enough for closer inspection. Of course, if the incident is severe enough, the pristine state of my underwear probably couldn't be sustained due to unforeseeable circumstances. 

  Finally, I have to let the rest of the world into a secret most men have; work underwear. These are the ones we can barbecue in, play football in, and wear to our laborious day jobs. I'm referring to the guys who work outside, with hammers, and who sweat for their daily bread. Anyway, work "draws" may have a hole in them, or the elastic might be missing, but they serve a purpose, even though wives and mothers will continue to try to dispose of them. Cease and desist ladies, before we start wearing our good underwear to work.